The entire of the Middle East operates on a principle of magnanimous hospitality. The Arabs call this karam, for example, which is considered to even be a religious obligation.
So if you're a stranger passing through a town and chat with some locals, you can expect for someone to invite you for tea and maybe even dinner!
Do you take them up on the offer?
Most people in the West would ask themselves "do I have the time", but a middle easterner would think "do they have the time?" Remember, you as a guest are also magnanimously hospitable--in this case, the least possible burden. Unfortunately, the guest must navigate whether they are being considerate or insulting by refusing hospitality.
Now to address taarof specifically. Persian's have pathologized hosptiality to the point of psychosis. The behavior is often mechanically choreographed (e.g. you should refuse at least twice before accepting a cucumber.) In other cases, it's insane.
Story time:
My mom and aunt had not seen each other for 3 years and met for lunch at a cafe. They went back and forth over who would pay at the register until it erupted into a fight. They sat at separate tables for lunch.
A close family friend--with no provocation from my sister--offered to house her for a weekend she was visiting. My sister accepted. That friend later complained to my mother.
A friend of mine went to a mechanic who offered to fix a small issue for free. My friend knowing better paid him anyway, but the mechanic was still upset since he didn't pay enough!
Edit: Just to address some of the comments. Abroad, the degree of hospitality is warped for foreigners (for what I hope are obvious reasons). Middle easterners in the West are far more inclusive.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists
in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on
the unreasonable man.
August Health | Senior+ Frontend Software Engineers | Remote, USA | Full Time | https://www.augusthealth.com
We're a growth-stage (Series A in 2022) company that builds technology to enhance the quality of care for vulnerable older adults. Our product is guiding the transition from complex, paper-based practices in the long-term care industry to a digital platform solution that unlocks the power of personalized care, predictive analytics, and value-based contracting.
Technologically, the frontend is TypeScript & React. Our frontend is a major differentiator - our users tend to be less tech-inclined, so ease of use is a business imperative. We also have a service-worker powered offline web app and plan to build another in short order.
Please reach out to me (Sid / Dir. Eng.) at sid [at] augusthealth.com
It covers near everything, is extremely exhaustive, and constantly updated. That being said, if you're more interested in how the Windows API is organized/works internally (why you have to give it handles/resources and what those mean, for instance), then Charles Petzold's series is generally considered the definitive resource:
Expecting other people to reach out to me without making any real effort myself.
At some point I heard this thought experiment: If you could only have one, which is more important: To love or to be loved?
Now I understand that if I want to receive love and connection that I have to be able to give it. This shift has strengthened so many of my relationships and helped me build new ones as well.
If you haven't already gone down the custom keyboard rabbit hole, I suspect you might like it. There's a pretty large enthusiast community out in the world, and there's a lot of ways to go custom - build your own from scratch, use a kit, use a pre-built with flashable firmware, etc.
The firmwares used (e.g. QMK) allow you to build the sort of thing you're talking about into your keyboard and more.
The entire of the Middle East operates on a principle of magnanimous hospitality. The Arabs call this karam, for example, which is considered to even be a religious obligation.
So if you're a stranger passing through a town and chat with some locals, you can expect for someone to invite you for tea and maybe even dinner!
Do you take them up on the offer?
Most people in the West would ask themselves "do I have the time", but a middle easterner would think "do they have the time?" Remember, you as a guest are also magnanimously hospitable--in this case, the least possible burden. Unfortunately, the guest must navigate whether they are being considerate or insulting by refusing hospitality.
Now to address taarof specifically. Persian's have pathologized hosptiality to the point of psychosis. The behavior is often mechanically choreographed (e.g. you should refuse at least twice before accepting a cucumber.) In other cases, it's insane.
Story time:
My mom and aunt had not seen each other for 3 years and met for lunch at a cafe. They went back and forth over who would pay at the register until it erupted into a fight. They sat at separate tables for lunch.
A close family friend--with no provocation from my sister--offered to house her for a weekend she was visiting. My sister accepted. That friend later complained to my mother.
A friend of mine went to a mechanic who offered to fix a small issue for free. My friend knowing better paid him anyway, but the mechanic was still upset since he didn't pay enough!
Edit: Just to address some of the comments. Abroad, the degree of hospitality is warped for foreigners (for what I hope are obvious reasons). Middle easterners in the West are far more inclusive.