I think the other extreme of elitist intellectuals has exactly the same problem; the understand that people have different mind-designs, but thats because their minds are wrong.
I was thinking about Judith Butler. Philosophist, gender theorist and published author. I read her "Gender Trouble" to a bout halfway. It occurred to me that she might not really recognize that some women might be genuinely straight. It explained the tone of the book bit too well. Also my queer ex-roommate also expected everybody appearing straight to just be closeted. These are individuals who really should understand that sexuality comes in all colors of rainbow.