Not a rare kind of doctor shopping among those who can afford it.
But that's the whole problem, isn't it? The parents enjoy a lifestyle and a tax bracket where inconvenience is impermissible and unacceptable. The child has become inconvenient.
ETA: I had to stop reading before I finished the article, because it put me back in a place where I do not want to be. Still sort of there at the moment, but so it goes; I'm sure I'll be fine again tomorrow. Anyway, looking again just now to see how the author chose to conclude, I happened across this, a few paragraphs from the end, which I excerpt here without further comment:
At their son’s moment of crisis, why not start there, changing the environment rather than the kid?
She and Jason exchanged a look. “That’s just not possible,” Elizabeth said.
> But that's the whole problem, isn't it? The parents enjoy a lifestyle and a tax bracket where inconvenience is impermissible and unacceptable. The child has become inconvenient.
You know the sick part of this is that the wife and I discussed kids and we both decided that we were too involved with ourselves and our hobbies to properly devote time to a child. Yeah, we like our video games and our space, and we enjoy our time together so a kid really doesn't work well for us. You can call it superficial if you want, I wouldn't really disagree.
To say that these people just went and had kids, likely because that's what they were told by society what to do, means that these kids have now been sentenced to a life where they are an inconvenience and a burden, and there is no way they're not aware of this, which to me is way more fucking sick than not having kids because you don't want to share your XBox.
There's nothing "sick" or bad about not having kids if you don't want to have kids. There's a really awful way of thinking that having children is the default option, and not having them is something you need to explain.
Your explanation is the perfect reasoning, even though lots of people won't accept it. Having children when you don't want to have children dooms everyone to a singular outcome: you will resent your children. If you don't want something, and then you force it on yourself, you won't be able to interact with it in any way other than "I wish this didn't happen".
Oh no I wasn't saying our reasoning was sick, I meant the fact that they wouldn't/couldn't be honest with themselves and just say "we really don't want to have kids" and then put said kids in this situation where their "bad behavior" is "inconvenient" is sick.
As a father of three, I applaud your decision. I'm sure you don't need my validation, but too often I feel like people with kids pressure others to have them so I'm giving it anyway. I very much wanted kids and there are still times I had to tell myself it will be worth it. Just to be clear, I have no regrets.
In my eyes anyone who figures out that they aren't ready for or just don't want kids before they have them is very wise.
I don't need it, but I do appreciate it. :) And yeah, we're still kids ourselves, I can't picture myself a dad, heh. But who knows what life will bring down the track a few years.
>You can call it superficial if you want, I wouldn't really disagree.
No. Please disagree, and strenuously. This might help others realize that it should be an informed choice, if only for the kid's sake. Nearly half the pregnancies in the US are unplanned. [1]
And their approach is: "Well, let's just throw more money at the problem, so long as you don't expect me to change the lifestyle to which I've grown accustomed."
But that's the whole problem, isn't it? The parents enjoy a lifestyle and a tax bracket where inconvenience is impermissible and unacceptable. The child has become inconvenient.
ETA: I had to stop reading before I finished the article, because it put me back in a place where I do not want to be. Still sort of there at the moment, but so it goes; I'm sure I'll be fine again tomorrow. Anyway, looking again just now to see how the author chose to conclude, I happened across this, a few paragraphs from the end, which I excerpt here without further comment:
At their son’s moment of crisis, why not start there, changing the environment rather than the kid?
She and Jason exchanged a look. “That’s just not possible,” Elizabeth said.