I have the same problem as Linus that I'll go overly dramatic and nasty in calling people stupid in replying online, something I don't do to people's faces. The more strongly I feel about something, the more likely it'll happen.
It's like some sort of social filter doesn't get applied, one I use when I'm speaking, but it just gets skipped when typing. When I read back those posts, I'm embarrassed, not proud of my "technique".
It's my problem, not the victim's. Luckily, because I'm not internet famous, those sort of posts get downvoted and I get some sort of feedback loop. But Linus gets defended and the cycle continues.
Hmmm. I wasn't considering the offendor's perspective.
Here I'm mainly thinking of us on the recieving end. From this standpoint, by blaming Linus or whomever for our emotional reactions, we end up disempowering ourselves quite a bit. There's a lot less we can do about Linus than about our own emotions and psychology, which is why I think it's useful/skillful to introspect instead of blame.
With the roles reversed though, it's certainly more helpful/skillful to focus on how we can communicate effectively. Blaming others' actions/reactions is just as disempowering as before.
It's actually quite easy to understand, given a sufficient understanding of human nature.
You're trying to dominate a social situation, because you think you are right (and by extensions, that there are others who will support you and strengthen your position) and because there's a lack of physical threat.
In the real world, you would not want to cause a ruckus, because there could be consequences, and your are not the dominant member of the group. For example; someone could punch you.
If you could, you would want to dominate any situation that you can. We are wired that way.
I have the same problem as Linus that I'll go overly dramatic and nasty in calling people stupid in replying online, something I don't do to people's faces. The more strongly I feel about something, the more likely it'll happen.
It's like some sort of social filter doesn't get applied, one I use when I'm speaking, but it just gets skipped when typing. When I read back those posts, I'm embarrassed, not proud of my "technique".
It's my problem, not the victim's. Luckily, because I'm not internet famous, those sort of posts get downvoted and I get some sort of feedback loop. But Linus gets defended and the cycle continues.