I was self-diagnosed for years, was tested for autism as a child (age 5), was borderline and back then there was no spectrum, you was either full on autistic or not. Few years later things changed, though it wasn't until I was in my early 40's that I got a formal diagnoses for aspergers.
This was mainly brought on due to numerous employment experiences and mostly the last one in which the company I worked for sent me to America to work for 3 weeks. Simple enough, though fiscally they utterly destroyed me. Chap from Canada (company base) was also over there. For me to cover expenses over there they sorted me out a pittance expense advance. Chap from Canada, had 5x that advanced! Equally my boss messed up the form, did it as salary advance and upshot was first week there I realised I was going to be paid nothing end of the month, be owed a bucket load of expenses and my rent and all my bills would bounce.
Short version, boss failed to sort it out, complained to HR about me chassing him about it and my subsequent breakdown, lossed the job, home, everything. Still not recovered from that.
More to the story, things like started low salary, told would get big pay rise after few month, never happened. Promoted without pay rise, did most of the work (including peers stealing credit for my work.
But then, get many things that upset you in work. Recall in another company, having time off for family funeral, arraged return date and come back to work to find somebody sitting at my desk!
I will say one issue that I wished I'd identified early was never to mix work with pashions. As I literally burned myself out so many time that the toll has been horrendous. Made lots of people very rich, but got taken advantage off something rotten.
Had I had an earlier diagnoses, life would of been easier for sure. That I have no doubts and I'd of been in better shape today mentally.
So anybody self-diagnosing - just get formally diagnosed, just to protect yourself from being abused.
That said, I have found that in some area's of life, your better of not even saying you have mental health quirks. AS you end up getting patronised and somewhat ignored. I've had personal experience with the UK Police and frankly it's shocking how bad you can be treated.
Still, encouraging that some companies being properly mindful about such people and with that, not just giving lip-service. Just a bit late for me alas, I'm a spent force in mid 50's now.
i thought i had aspergers but it turned out I was actually transgendered.
im willing to bet that the number of transgender population is a lot higher.
unabomber was also diagnosed to be transgender using modern definition.
my theory is ted bundy was also a transgender. there exists a sort of misogynistic jealousy towardsthe opposite sex but he is an extreme and rarely example along with unabomber.
people who are transgender are literally in a constant state of mental anguish. then you have normies and the social structure which is tilted to hetrosexual cis-gender populace.
i only found out i was transgender after decades of denial. its important to never lie to yourself. its amazing how much you can trick yourself in to believing in the image that those around you have set.
screaming someone misgendered you won't do jack shit.
as a transwoman my career options are now prostitution, pornography, and the drug trade but probably will be overlaps.
> i thought i had aspergers but it turned out I was actually transgendered.
As a trans woman, I must say that I am confused as to how you might mix up those two. The symptoms are really different. Those are not exclusive either.
> people who are transgender are literally in a constant state of mental anguish
Only until you get therapy and treatment. Once my gender dysphoria was under control, I was free of any negative mental health issues related to being transgender.
> as a transwoman my career options are now prostitution, pornography, and the drug trade but probably will be overlaps.
Nope, still working in STEM. I know quite a few trans programmers.
Well, as far as I can gather from your posting history you are from Vancouver.
I know several people from western Canada that live openly trans and work without any issues. Don't give up because of a handful of bad employers and some bad experiences.
They added protection to the B.C. Human Rights Code in 2016 and there are a lot of protections Canada wide.
This is not an humble brag, this is your rights. You have the right to work in any field you want. In STEM we even have the opportunity to work remotely, which helps if you are too uncomfortable to be out in public.
every fucking position i applied to i was turned down because it had 'client facing roles'
I even said i would use my male voice on the phone because I don't wanna weird people out
This was an issue also at my old job.
I feel that I wasted a decade in the tech industry, mostly startups.
now im in my early 30s, im totally fucked.
i think lot of pornstars do it just so they can prostitute themselves.
Vancouver has social liberal rights with none of it actually respected by the population. theres still the old judeo-christian ethics along with sino ethics which make it way worse.
I'm considered a freak and will be so .
Society doesn't want to see me, or acknowledge me. what options are there for me?
what options are there for the negroes in detroit ghetto?
what options are there for people who are completely shunned and unwanted by mainstream society and even family and friends?
I don't understand why you are so hostile with me.
All I'm doing is telling you that you have rights and that you should not give up. That there are people living in your city with similar situations as yours that have managed to make it through.
I know one person who moved from Québec to B.C. to start a new life as their true gender, so I have a hard time believing that the situation is as bad as you describe it. I'm sure it feels that way, being trans is absolutely crushing but our perception of the world around us is often flawed.
Looking at your posting history here, most of your recent comments are either dead or negative. That's people who have no idea you are trans. In my eyes, the issue lies elsewhere. You act very crudely and I can only hope that you do not act the same way at the workplace or during job interviews.
Have you considered moving to another province instead of changing career? There are a lot of LGBTQ+ friendly cities across Canada.
I've seen firsthand how shitty things can be for trans people. I'm sorry. I hope you can find a support system that meets your needs.
> i thought i had aspergers but it turned out I was actually transgendered.
Is it possible that you're trans and Asperger's? There's research suggesting that they appear together more often than chance would suggest. It would explain the surprising frequency of trans people in tech fields, as well. Anecdotally, three of the four trans people I'm close to are diagnosed ASD, and I have my suspicions about the fourth.
My point is that you don't have any standing to claim that, and you're probably wrong.
Given how many hoops the medical establishment makes trans people jump through to "prove" that they're really trans and need treatment, I'd think you'd be more sympathetic.
> Given how many hoops the medical establishment makes trans people jump through to "prove" that they're really trans and need treatment
There's not a lot of hoops to jump through as an adult in Canada.
You can simply find a therapist and ask for an informed consent form. Sign it and you get access to Hormone replacement therapy.
The gender marker change is even easier, all you need is to fill a form that you can order at anytime for $140. On that form you write your new name and correct gender. Then, you only need someone else to sign under oath with you.
This was mainly brought on due to numerous employment experiences and mostly the last one in which the company I worked for sent me to America to work for 3 weeks. Simple enough, though fiscally they utterly destroyed me. Chap from Canada (company base) was also over there. For me to cover expenses over there they sorted me out a pittance expense advance. Chap from Canada, had 5x that advanced! Equally my boss messed up the form, did it as salary advance and upshot was first week there I realised I was going to be paid nothing end of the month, be owed a bucket load of expenses and my rent and all my bills would bounce. Short version, boss failed to sort it out, complained to HR about me chassing him about it and my subsequent breakdown, lossed the job, home, everything. Still not recovered from that.
More to the story, things like started low salary, told would get big pay rise after few month, never happened. Promoted without pay rise, did most of the work (including peers stealing credit for my work.
But then, get many things that upset you in work. Recall in another company, having time off for family funeral, arraged return date and come back to work to find somebody sitting at my desk!
I will say one issue that I wished I'd identified early was never to mix work with pashions. As I literally burned myself out so many time that the toll has been horrendous. Made lots of people very rich, but got taken advantage off something rotten.
Had I had an earlier diagnoses, life would of been easier for sure. That I have no doubts and I'd of been in better shape today mentally.
So anybody self-diagnosing - just get formally diagnosed, just to protect yourself from being abused.
That said, I have found that in some area's of life, your better of not even saying you have mental health quirks. AS you end up getting patronised and somewhat ignored. I've had personal experience with the UK Police and frankly it's shocking how bad you can be treated.
Still, encouraging that some companies being properly mindful about such people and with that, not just giving lip-service. Just a bit late for me alas, I'm a spent force in mid 50's now.