Without disputing your personal experience, the parents anecdote is reflective of how most people experience the addictive qualities of nicotine vs caffeine.
"Conclusion: Dependence to traditional cigarettes and snus seem to be relatively similar while NR (nicotine replacement) was rated lower and coffee lowest."
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30061507/
"Conclusion: Dependence to traditional cigarettes and snus seem to be relatively similar while NR (nicotine replacement) was rated lower and coffee lowest."