> The epilog is that after a decade of floundering I realized that even though I am pretty good at science, I was no good at playing academic politics and quit the pursuit; I drove for lyft/uber for a bit, and now I'm a backend dev.

I'm really sorry. It seems a lot of people are hit by a wall of cruelty. More is less in our lives.

Have you thought of joining some biohacklab to keep enjoying your talent and curiosity on your original field ?