I can tell your comment comes from a place of wanting to be kind and I commend you for that intention.
We just have different definitions of what constitutes being kind. I think it is kinder to tell people what you really think than it is to coddle them. Sometimes people are better off hearing hard truths.
She described a career filled with unnecessary stress and unsuccessful projects where everyone else is at fault and every environment is toxic. If I were describing my own career in that way, I'd think it was time for some introspection.
If you were her friend, sure. But you're just some internet stranger piling on. Hard truths are delivered in private, not shouted in a public square where the author isn't even present.
But that's not what actually inspired me to comment. The main thing that bugged me about this subthread is that, rather than contributing to a potentially interesting conversation about whether workspaces are toxic, and what to do about it, people are nitpicking whether the author's self-described trauma is legitimate or not. Regardless of whether it's true, it strikes me as a form of ad-hominem... ignoring the content in favor of attacking the author.
That's not so much about you, I have to admit, as the whole subthread. Thanks for a thoughtful reply.
> "Every toxic workplace I’ve been in was usually the result of bad executive leadership, and this was no different."
> "...were central to our struggles and the toxicity of the environment. ... two experts in their fields from competing corporations would fail to agree"
> "...at best we had a part-time PM for a brief time who volunteered and then moved on"
> "...our leads were overworked and lacked the power to create change."
>"...I’ve seen managers cry multiple times, and this is one of the places that happened."
>"...and I’ve been blessed with colleagues and leads who have seen the worth of it and supported me."
This does not read as though she is blaming "everyone else". Throughout the post there is a very heavy focus on "we" and "our" for referring to the team and the teams stress and lack of empowerment. I thought she went out of her way to make clear it wasnt the team she worked with, but upper management fostering a negative environment.(ex, not supporting the team needing a PM) Finally recognizing that upper leadership and people outside the project injecting themselves into or blocking change, seems like introspection. Finally seeing that this was not right/healthy, is how one gets out of an abusive pattern. This is more of a retrospective than the sprint
We just have different definitions of what constitutes being kind. I think it is kinder to tell people what you really think than it is to coddle them. Sometimes people are better off hearing hard truths.
She described a career filled with unnecessary stress and unsuccessful projects where everyone else is at fault and every environment is toxic. If I were describing my own career in that way, I'd think it was time for some introspection.