It's not a "subtle metalinguistic joke". You're just redefining words. The algorithm isn't constant in complexity theory terms and it's also not constant in "wall-clock time" (I'm not sure why you think the two are unrelated?), except if you use a model of computation that is so bonkers that it would be of no value.
Maybe it works as a sort of dadaistic literature, like the ones where they redefine "chair" to mean "table" and so on, but beyond that?
Both your article and this comment of yours show that you're annoyed at algorithmic interview questions, so you're trying (well, at least in this fantasy) to one-up your interviewers by being smarter, and technically correct, but in an unexpected way. I understand the sentiment, but unfortunately, this only works when you're actually at least technically correct.
Maybe it works as a sort of dadaistic literature, like the ones where they redefine "chair" to mean "table" and so on, but beyond that?
Both your article and this comment of yours show that you're annoyed at algorithmic interview questions, so you're trying (well, at least in this fantasy) to one-up your interviewers by being smarter, and technically correct, but in an unexpected way. I understand the sentiment, but unfortunately, this only works when you're actually at least technically correct.