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Ask HN: Who is feeling Depressed and Why? (Feb 2024)
16 points by alexander2002 on Feb 20, 2024 | hide | past | favorite | 26 comments
I will go first

Feeling(s):Feeling suicidal for last 3 months. Extreme axiety and depression

Reason(s):I have been mentally unstable for last 5 years and unhappy.I was born ugly .I am a lonely person



> I was born ugly

Not sure if this is appropriate, but there's a movie called "blind and ugly" about an ugly guy getting together with a blind woman. If anything it's a cute movie to pass the time...

https://m.imdb.com/title/tt5034090/

As for me, I'm depressed because my wife died 2 weeks ago. Treasure your loved ones while you have them.


Ho man. I'm so sorry for your loss. Can't imagine how that must feel like.

> Treasure your loved ones while you have them.

So true, yet so easy to forget sometimes during the day to day life.


Hi,so sorry to hear about your wife death.I hope you can find some happiness eventually.She would want the same for you.


Crushing reminder, I will.


Feeling: Feeling suicidal for the last week or so. Felt depressed for the last couple months, thankfully anxiety is still an unknown emotion for me.

Reasons: Any hope I had of fulfilling my lifelong dream ended half a year ago. Somebody who I envied my entire life, and always tried to surpass, achieved it despite putting in far less effort than me (what I think; the reality may be different). Some people who I thought were close to me started to alienate me. That's the wrong word for it, they weren't doing anything that they thought was wrong. I realized that the next 2-8 years of my life will be terrible due to a very important decision that somebody took on my behalf. This somebody is also someone very close to me.

I am in no position to say this, but things really do get better. Even if you think there's no hope right now, you can't predict what may happen in the future. You may meet new people, understand some interesting stories. There's just too many variables for someone to confidently say that their life will be fruitless.

I am not a certified counsellor or anything but if anybody wants to talk my email(s) is in my profile.


> I was born ugly

One of the ugliest people I have ever met was also one of the most charismatic. This person looked like a troll from a fairy tale, just hideously ugly. But he could hold a room like you wouldn’t believe. And people were drawn to him. Before getting to know this person, I did not think an ugly person could have any charisma.

I have since learned that charisma is very much a skill that can be learned. You may be unable to do anything about your ugliness. But you can learn to hold a room, or learn to be someone people want to be around despite being difficult to look at.


I am ungly, not extremely, but unattractive, and my height is well below the average for my country, which itself is already low.

Being charismatic and funny has greatly helped me in various aspects and opportunities in life.


feelings: general depression and disconnection from reality. complacency, slowness.

reasons: holidays are always hard; violation of trust from cofounder.

actions: signed up for brightside, completed the psych review, on antidepressants with weekly therapy sessions. very easy to do and covered by my insurance. hardest part was gaining the energy to sign up.

outcome: still not great but i can begin to understand what joy could be.


Disconnection from reality is such a weird feeling.

Good job on starting psychotherapy and antidepressants! It's crazy how much our perception of things can change when imbalances in our brain are dealt with.


I had a muscle neck spasm after doing my suicide regime(hint:I failed) about 7-9 days ago. It was the worst 2 days of life. I have essentially spent 3 months of life bed ridden due to depression and axiety.(Ruined my life at 22 yay!!) The reason I am saying is that I took fluxotine(anti-depressant for 1.5 year and was doing some progress in life. But after sometime,I stopped the medicine thinking I am fine.Turned out I was not fine!!! P.sI am just venting so plz ignore if i got offtopic


i was also on fluxotine and started to experience side effects that made it difficult to focus, so i stopped taking them and slowly regressed back into depression. i'm on bupropion now and besides feeling a bit bonkers for a few weeks, joy is starting to creep in

hang in there. you can do it. there are no shortcuts. in and through is the only way. you can be better, you can do better, i believe in you. don't give up, there is so much beauty to life, if you know where/how to look at it

you get to decide how u want 2 feel about it. u are in control if you allow yourself 2 be


I hope things get better for you.


how kind of you to spend the time to write this. i wish you peace and love my friend


Been feeling isolated and alone for months, wife has been just angry all the time, and we're just at a point where I don't think it's going to work. Moving out soon, but my depression has left me near penniless, (hard to focus on freelance work as a dev when you can't stomach getting out of bed, or wish you just wouldn't wake up. ).. I think maybe I'm coming out of it, kinda excited to at least have some peace and quiet so i can actually get work done.


Feelings: Depressed and burnt out for the last few months, with severe depression.

Reasons: Entire team is being made redundant in a few months, and the job market is a miserable one at the moment. Also stressed out by some issues with my personal projects, and personal issues.

Actions: Well I'm applying for new jobs in companies I'd be interested in working in, and I'm confident that I'll find something new at some point.


Ok so you covered the things going wrong. What are some things going right? Anything? Can you leverage things going right to address things going wrong


I am frankly tired of this world. Everything is overwhelming.I cant think straight nor act like an adult. No social skills basically/No maturity / no tech skill / no academic skill / no hobby == animal I feel like I will always be catching up with my peers and I just dont have the energy to do that.


M ex gf apparently cheated on me and then cheated with his new bf with me


I feel like I've brought kids into a dying world.


as ironic as it might seem given my mental health https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M If you are able to make your childern happy ,that is what matters. My parents always provided for us but never fostered a happy household. Death will come for us eventually,happiness is what matters (I have learnt the hard way!!)


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Don't knock it til you try it.


You should be ashamed of yourself.


Living with shame is still living.


who asked for your suggestion?


I agree that their comment was perhaps a bit uncalled for and rude. Even if it was meant in a humorous manner I think it was in bad taste. But there is no need to be equally rude to them in my opinion.


Yeah my bad.




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