Ah, classic nihilism. I first encountered it in high-school literature class reading Turgenev's "Fathers and Sons". Good times. (Of course now you'd probably get a quick TikTok explanation and that's all.) I probably mix in a bit of that, a bit of "apatheism", some epicureanism (the original version), and a dash of solipsism (just a dash mind you), and I find myself pretty comfortable. Going to lots of jam band concerts helps too.